Warning: This post might be considered racist and agist by some.
You can always count on a 40+ palestinian man to ruin a joke! My supervisor at work not only steals my work and takes credit for it, he also steals my jokes and just ruins the whole thing!
So we go to a meeting once where there is this old guy who is SO stressed out I actually feared he might get into a cardiac arrest any moment during that meeting. So on our way back to our offices I was sharing my fears with my supervisor and I said something like Dude! someone give him prozac. (Ok at the moment it sounded funny! At least I thought so)
Well guess what I think it took my supervisor a few hours of googling to understand my joke. Anyways a few weeks later we go to one of those meetings again and we see that stressed out man again. A couple of hours later he was briefing us on the meeting and he goes like : " oo Abu XXX kan ekteer em3a9eb oo ana kaan beddee a36eeh prozac oo dawaret bass ma la2eit o 2olet lazem a3meloh sha'3leh!!! "
Dude! Seriously? Think of your own jokes !
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Every 3rd text in my inbox
I thought this would be interesting: I will be noting down every 3rd text message I have in my cell phone's inbox. Wonder what it will say about me or about the people I know
I skipped messages regarding oppointments, sales, bank transactions and the way too personal ones.
wow! So funny how the same message can be understood differently!
T: Good, not true but good!
T: Graduation happened, meme happened, quarter life crisis happened! What matters now is that u r doing something about it!
T: In a very boring class I made a pig nose mask n colored it pink then I was waring it between classes when a Dr. saw me!! What was I thinking!!
F: Monday
S: She what r u up to? Man I'm bored! I'm at the cheap saloon and they're freakin busy with - believe it or not - LOCALS!
S: I didnt do this in week days...I was in the office at 8:10
W: Friends again??
M: Shall I come
N: Take lot of pix and video tape
N: Guys I dont care if you believe it or not but now i am sure that me and (A) are TWINS!!! every single person here think we are identical!
F: Meme is sick again, she is running fever. Tell mom
F: which one did you life?
S: Still? how come? I'm at the saloon...(S) had her lipo suction today she seems fine metel el 2erde! I didnt see her *** yet though
T: I reach BETWEEN 4 n 4:30 depends on when we leave!
T: Yes No Maybe?
FD: In an hour and hald keep main door open
T: I receive this msg to get an irani ring tone for 5 dhs, out of boredome i reply! now i have 5 less dhs in my ra9eed, no irani ringtone n a feeling of stupidity!
H: Ur getting paid 2morrow
A: confirmed
F: I have none! I can send u a skirt
F: Crazy patients
H: Ahh cute!! Btw u had a lng break after uni when do u start getting bored
W: Australia? How's it?
T: Who is it now?
S: Convertable VW beetle?
H: hahaha wat kinda book is this? N are they refering 2 men or women?
S: It is ... too insightful actually
Af: Two things u have to tell me for sure tonight. 1. credit card and individual prices of events. 2. can they do everything this thursday
Af: if credit card works. then budget 2000-2500
Af: ok then, go for it.
H: Hahahaha yeah i gave number 12 just an hr ago ;-)
H: Hahahaha laa it has 2 be selfish love 'a7ibik fee allah'
H: am trying 2 repeat the word "love" as much as possible 2 c if it kan overwrite da word hate..
F: La wallah? 3ein!
N: LOL
W: I was at your place. It's intimidating. You're sleeping
S: (A) ****** big time!! mean she's officially gona get her 1st "welcome 2 the real world" slap! I'm not happy in a gloaty way, she'll finally learn her lesson!
T: Any reason why?
N: Thanx gurl!
F: Mimi woke up?
T: " for these foods are not free - you have to wear them for years to come. You cant eat it all and still be thin. this is a fact. " THIN COMMANDMENTS, amazing book!
M: that msg could make me cry...came online to check if you were there yest..U werent..let me know when u can come online...will come..take care..miss u
F: Fries or mozarella sticks
S: I'm not goin to the concert, (A) za3lan menni
S: What bugs me msot is that she's being a ***** now, and i hate her for it, but when she decides to be a person again i become nice again!I hate that about me!
T: We meaning? not bad if I arrive by 4:30 so i can pray!
F: thanks
S: Hey call me when u wake up. I'm assuming ur ASLEEP!
H: Crack!
FD: Bleach makes me cry
S: Meaning the ***** my boss and the ******* (SK)! I am suffocating!
H: El qolob 3ind ba3adha
T: hahahaha
H: hahahaha .. laa i was thinking 2 play da dumb role w/ the voice n everything
H: laa wa zidich min el she3r beit. i volunteered 2 help, nt knowing wat i'll be doin .. N i just found out ill be a blonde/bimbo hostess/doorman
H: am going 2 da conf now..
FD: Yup
F: the korean lady in grey's anatomy reminds me of (N)
S: OMG, i MUST tell u the AD idea (A) came up with for her capstone XXXX campaing! It's so laughable ur gona roll on the floor!
T: I just reread the msg! Not bad I guess, throw paris to the london equation n the stay!
FD: forget the USA
T: Why?
S: Hey we must go to the concert on WED ok? block your calendar!!
I skipped messages regarding oppointments, sales, bank transactions and the way too personal ones.
wow! So funny how the same message can be understood differently!
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Inside out
I am a mediocre person.
The reality of it hurts like hell.
I might be considered a wannabe.
Heck who am I kidding, I am one.
And I hate myself for it.
I find it easy to hate people.
Not that people wont find any difficulty hating me
I started a rumor at school that one of my good friends was a lesbian.
She never knew it was me.
My one and only girl fight;
I slapped a 16 years old girl when I was only 10.
Then she kicked my ass.
She was much taller than me.
And she swore like a sailor.
I speak 4 languages.
I am not exceptionally good at any of them.
And I dont really know how to swear.
Plus it got boring after the first slap.
I get bored easily.
I am firm believer that it is genetic.
I am already bored with this.
I am sure you are too.
I wonder what the hell was I thinking.
Apparently I wasn’t.
I still don’t think much.
That explains my hatred for sudoku.
Yet I wish I could for once finish one.
I guess that makes me an airhead.
I am blonde.
Well not naturally blonde of course.
My new favorite song is this old song titled "alone again naturally"
It was on Virgin Suicides soundtrack
I don’t pretend that I liked the movie. I
t was actually one of those weird movies that make you hate yourself.
I liked Lost in translation
For some weird reason I was able to relate to it.
I've never been to Japan.
Never really wanted to either.
I always wanted to go to Zanzibar or Zanjabar.
The word zanjabeel makes me laugh.
When I was young I made up my own swear word.
Only my sister heard me actually say it.
No I am not going to write it down.
But I don’t really know what it meant.
This still confuses me.
I also made up an invisible friend.
He was my 2 years old cousin.
This everyone in the family knew about.
And they thought it was crazy.
Specially that I wasn’t that young.
I was twelve; kind of old for imaginary friend.
I wish I could make up an imaginary friend now.
But it is weird enough that I talk to myself most of the time.
I am talking about full conversations.
I just had the most awkward conversation.
I told a coworker that she just ruined her own surprise birthday party by walking out.
I feel stupid for arranging this.
I suck at planning events.
I planned my niece’s birthday last 3eed.
The balloons were flat before the party started.
I had to fix that.
I did fix it.
Everything was great.
Until I got down with flu.
The worst type of flu.
I still have it , 2 3eeds later.
I was secretly worried I had bird flu.
I hate birds.
I hate all animals now that I am at it.
I am an ailurophobic.
That is a person who fears cats.
It is also known as Elurophobia, Felinophobia, Galeophobia, or Gatophobia.
No I don’t think they will eat me or anything.
And I don’t think they are possessed by jinn or anything else.
My 2 years old niece always tells me that " entee kbeera, mat5afeen men cat"
I wrote a paper in college about possession and exorcism.
Another one of those what the hell was I thinking moments.
The professor gave me an A for it.
I still wonder why.
The same professor asked me whether my (thick) eyebrows were real.
No I answered. I stick them on!
The same professor predicted that whenever I will fall in love I will fall really badly.
I told him I don’t believe in love that is why.
I don’t know if I was right. I don’t know if he was right.
There were other words of a professor which got stuck in my head.
The one teacher who actually taught me a thing or two.
Not the text book jargon.
No standing on the table either
He just taught me how to be a better me.
From a Beta version to a real person.
Although I did have an instructor who stood on table once.
He was the worst impersonator of Marlon Brando.
No I will not discuss The Godfather.
I don’t have a godfather.
If I ever have kids I want them to have godparents.
Fairy Godparents!
(That made me laugh!)
For a person who almost hates everybody, I laugh a lot.
I guess that would make me a misanthrope
That is a person who hates or distrusts mankind.
I just googled that definition.
I like using google as a verb.
I sometimes refer to myself as a googler.
I am a pretty damn good googler too.
I wonder if they have like a test that I can take to prove that.
Quiz: How google savvy are you?
No I won’t make that into a real quiz and send it out to people.
I won’t ask them to forward their results in the subject line.
And forwarding the quiz to 10 people won’t get them a kiss from their crushes.
I hate junk mail
I also hate mailing lists or groups
But I hate discussion boards most of all
I hate it when people post “shukran 3ala el muroor” or something
I also hate it when people get excited about being the first one to answer any post
I only use one message board. And that is to download add-ons for my Sims. I love my Sims.
I guess this only confrims my hatred towards mankind.
I guess this is un-Islamic.
I try to be a better Muslim.
And praying 5 times a day is not enough to make me a better Muslim.
And I don’t think listening to music makes me a bad Muslim.
I enjoy very different genres of music.
I am into Jamie Cullum and Nora Jones right now.
I was told I look like Nora Jones,
Jennifer lopez,
Queen Rania Al Abdullah,
Jessica Alba,
AND
Leonardo Di Caprio
Notice how none of those celebrities look like the other?
I hate watching E entertainment.
I hate magazines like Hello and US weekly.
The real question is who cares anyway?
The reality of it hurts like hell.
I might be considered a wannabe.
Heck who am I kidding, I am one.
And I hate myself for it.
I find it easy to hate people.
Not that people wont find any difficulty hating me
I started a rumor at school that one of my good friends was a lesbian.
She never knew it was me.
My one and only girl fight;
I slapped a 16 years old girl when I was only 10.
Then she kicked my ass.
She was much taller than me.
And she swore like a sailor.
I speak 4 languages.
I am not exceptionally good at any of them.
And I dont really know how to swear.
Plus it got boring after the first slap.
I get bored easily.
I am firm believer that it is genetic.
I am already bored with this.
I am sure you are too.
-----------------------
i wanna dig down deep
i wanna lose some sleep
i wanna scream and shout
i wanna know you inside out
i wanna lose some sleep
i wanna scream and shout
i wanna know you inside out
-- Bryan Adams
-----------------------
-----------------------
One of the saddest truths about me is my first experience with music.
The first album I ever bought was Ehab Tawfee2's " 3adda el leil "I wonder what the hell was I thinking.
Apparently I wasn’t.
I still don’t think much.
That explains my hatred for sudoku.
Yet I wish I could for once finish one.
I guess that makes me an airhead.
I am blonde.
Well not naturally blonde of course.
My new favorite song is this old song titled "alone again naturally"
It was on Virgin Suicides soundtrack
I don’t pretend that I liked the movie. I
t was actually one of those weird movies that make you hate yourself.
I liked Lost in translation
For some weird reason I was able to relate to it.
I've never been to Japan.
Never really wanted to either.
I always wanted to go to Zanzibar or Zanjabar.
The word zanjabeel makes me laugh.
When I was young I made up my own swear word.
Only my sister heard me actually say it.
No I am not going to write it down.
But I don’t really know what it meant.
This still confuses me.
I also made up an invisible friend.
He was my 2 years old cousin.
This everyone in the family knew about.
And they thought it was crazy.
Specially that I wasn’t that young.
I was twelve; kind of old for imaginary friend.
I wish I could make up an imaginary friend now.
But it is weird enough that I talk to myself most of the time.
I am talking about full conversations.
I just had the most awkward conversation.
I told a coworker that she just ruined her own surprise birthday party by walking out.
I feel stupid for arranging this.
I suck at planning events.
I planned my niece’s birthday last 3eed.
The balloons were flat before the party started.
I had to fix that.
I did fix it.
Everything was great.
Until I got down with flu.
The worst type of flu.
I still have it , 2 3eeds later.
I was secretly worried I had bird flu.
I hate birds.
I hate all animals now that I am at it.
I am an ailurophobic.
That is a person who fears cats.
It is also known as Elurophobia, Felinophobia, Galeophobia, or Gatophobia.
No I don’t think they will eat me or anything.
And I don’t think they are possessed by jinn or anything else.
My 2 years old niece always tells me that " entee kbeera, mat5afeen men cat"
I wrote a paper in college about possession and exorcism.
Another one of those what the hell was I thinking moments.
The professor gave me an A for it.
I still wonder why.
The same professor asked me whether my (thick) eyebrows were real.
No I answered. I stick them on!
The same professor predicted that whenever I will fall in love I will fall really badly.
I told him I don’t believe in love that is why.
I don’t know if I was right. I don’t know if he was right.
There were other words of a professor which got stuck in my head.
The one teacher who actually taught me a thing or two.
Not the text book jargon.
No standing on the table either
He just taught me how to be a better me.
From a Beta version to a real person.
Although I did have an instructor who stood on table once.
He was the worst impersonator of Marlon Brando.
No I will not discuss The Godfather.
I don’t have a godfather.
If I ever have kids I want them to have godparents.
Fairy Godparents!
(That made me laugh!)
For a person who almost hates everybody, I laugh a lot.
I guess that would make me a misanthrope
That is a person who hates or distrusts mankind.
I just googled that definition.
I like using google as a verb.
I sometimes refer to myself as a googler.
I am a pretty damn good googler too.
I wonder if they have like a test that I can take to prove that.
Quiz: How google savvy are you?
No I won’t make that into a real quiz and send it out to people.
I won’t ask them to forward their results in the subject line.
And forwarding the quiz to 10 people won’t get them a kiss from their crushes.
I hate junk mail
I also hate mailing lists or groups
But I hate discussion boards most of all
I hate it when people post “shukran 3ala el muroor” or something
I also hate it when people get excited about being the first one to answer any post
I only use one message board. And that is to download add-ons for my Sims. I love my Sims.
I guess this only confrims my hatred towards mankind.
I guess this is un-Islamic.
I try to be a better Muslim.
And praying 5 times a day is not enough to make me a better Muslim.
And I don’t think listening to music makes me a bad Muslim.
I enjoy very different genres of music.
I am into Jamie Cullum and Nora Jones right now.
I was told I look like Nora Jones,
Jennifer lopez,
Queen Rania Al Abdullah,
Jessica Alba,
AND
Leonardo Di Caprio
Notice how none of those celebrities look like the other?
I hate watching E entertainment.
I hate magazines like Hello and US weekly.
The real question is who cares anyway?
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