Inside out

I am a mediocre person.
The reality of it hurts like hell.
I might be considered a wannabe.
Heck who am I kidding, I am one.
And I hate myself for it.
I find it easy to hate people.
Not that people wont find any difficulty hating me
I started a rumor at school that one of my good friends was a lesbian.
She never knew it was me.
My one and only girl fight;
I slapped a 16 years old girl when I was only 10.
Then she kicked my ass.
She was much taller than me.
And she swore like a sailor.
I speak 4 languages.
I am not exceptionally good at any of them.
And I dont really know how to swear.
Plus it got boring after the first slap.
I get bored easily.
I am firm believer that it is genetic.
I am already bored with this.
I am sure you are too.

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i wanna dig down deep
i wanna lose some sleep
i wanna scream and shout
i wanna know you inside out

-- Bryan Adams
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One of the saddest truths about me is my first experience with music.

The first album I ever bought was Ehab Tawfee2's " 3adda el leil "
I wonder what the hell was I thinking.
Apparently I wasn’t.
I still don’t think much.
That explains my hatred for sudoku.
Yet I wish I could for once finish one.
I guess that makes me an airhead.
I am blonde.
Well not naturally blonde of course.
My new favorite song is this old song titled "alone again naturally"
It was on Virgin Suicides soundtrack
I don’t pretend that I liked the movie. I
t was actually one of those weird movies that make you hate yourself.
I liked Lost in translation
For some weird reason I was able to relate to it.
I've never been to Japan.
Never really wanted to either.
I always wanted to go to Zanzibar or Zanjabar.
The word zanjabeel makes me laugh.
When I was young I made up my own swear word.
Only my sister heard me actually say it.
No I am not going to write it down.
But I don’t really know what it meant.
This still confuses me.
I also made up an invisible friend.
He was my 2 years old cousin.
This everyone in the family knew about.
And they thought it was crazy.
Specially that I wasn’t that young.
I was twelve; kind of old for imaginary friend.
I wish I could make up an imaginary friend now.
But it is weird enough that I talk to myself most of the time.
I am talking about full conversations.
I just had the most awkward conversation.
I told a coworker that she just ruined her own surprise birthday party by walking out.
I feel stupid for arranging this.
I suck at planning events.
I planned my niece’s birthday last 3eed.
The balloons were flat before the party started.
I had to fix that.
I did fix it.
Everything was great.
Until I got down with flu.
The worst type of flu.
I still have it , 2 3eeds later.
I was secretly worried I had bird flu.
I hate birds.
I hate all animals now that I am at it.
I am an ailurophobic.
That is a person who fears cats.
It is also known as Elurophobia, Felinophobia, Galeophobia, or Gatophobia.
No I don’t think they will eat me or anything.
And I don’t think they are possessed by jinn or anything else.
My 2 years old niece always tells me that " entee kbeera, mat5afeen men cat"
I wrote a paper in college about possession and exorcism.
Another one of those what the hell was I thinking moments.
The professor gave me an A for it.
I still wonder why.
The same professor asked me whether my (thick) eyebrows were real.
No I answered. I stick them on!
The same professor predicted that whenever I will fall in love I will fall really badly.
I told him I don’t believe in love that is why.
I don’t know if I was right. I don’t know if he was right.
There were other words of a professor which got stuck in my head.
The one teacher who actually taught me a thing or two.
Not the text book jargon.
No standing on the table either
He just taught me how to be a better me.
From a Beta version to a real person.
Although I did have an instructor who stood on table once.
He was the worst impersonator of Marlon Brando.
No I will not discuss The Godfather.
I don’t have a godfather.
If I ever have kids I want them to have godparents.
Fairy Godparents!
(That made me laugh!)
For a person who almost hates everybody, I laugh a lot.
I guess that would make me a misanthrope
That is a person who hates or distrusts mankind.
I just googled that definition.
I like using google as a verb.
I sometimes refer to myself as a googler.
I am a pretty damn good googler too.
I wonder if they have like a test that I can take to prove that.
Quiz: How google savvy are you?
No I won’t make that into a real quiz and send it out to people.
I won’t ask them to forward their results in the subject line.
And forwarding the quiz to 10 people won’t get them a kiss from their crushes.
I hate junk mail
I also hate mailing lists or groups
But I hate discussion boards most of all
I hate it when people post “shukran 3ala el muroor” or something
I also hate it when people get excited about being the first one to answer any post
I only use one message board. And that is to download add-ons for my Sims. I love my Sims.
I guess this only confrims my hatred towards mankind.
I guess this is un-Islamic.
I try to be a better Muslim.
And praying 5 times a day is not enough to make me a better Muslim.
And I don’t think listening to music makes me a bad Muslim.
I enjoy very different genres of music.
I am into Jamie Cullum and Nora Jones right now.
I was told I look like Nora Jones,
Jennifer lopez,
Queen Rania Al Abdullah,
Jessica Alba,
AND
Leonardo Di Caprio
Notice how none of those celebrities look like the other?
I hate watching E entertainment.
I hate magazines like Hello and US weekly.
The real question is who cares anyway?