" A fine line separates the weary recluse from the fearful hermit. Finer still is the line between hermit and a bitter misanthrope"
Recently I turned into a bitter misanthrope. I am super critical about everything around me and I am bitter. About everything; about my life, about my job (right now my life = my job so that is redundancy for you!) about decisions I made, decisions I didn't make.
If I was practising Islam as well as I should be, I would have understood that this is all Qadaa wa Qadar. Everything is predestined. Yet I am unable to cope with what is going on in my life. Or what is not going on with my life.
It was very foggy this morning. While driving in my neighborhood in the thick blinding fog I was almost expecting to see bloodied winged monsters. I should have known that getting flashbacks of silent hill was not the best way to start your day! On my way back home, I saw a road killed cat. Not the best way to end your day either!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Embarak 3alaikom Eshahar
Ramadan Kareem everyone.
May Allah bless us all with his mercy, forgiveness and Hedaya.
Please dont forget to keep the Islamic Ummah in your prayers.
May Allah bless us all with his mercy, forgiveness and Hedaya.
Please dont forget to keep the Islamic Ummah in your prayers.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
In grade 2, as part of the Islamic Education curriculum we were required to memorize a few short Suwar from The Holy Quran. The Suwar were always broken down to smaller lessons of 2 or more to enable us to memorize the soora as well as understand its meanings.
One of the Suwar we had that year was Surat Al-Adiyat (سورة العاديات) . I remember being absent the day we learnt either the first or the second part of that Sura. So upon being asked to recite the previous day's lesson , I looked at my teacher and answered with a very confused tone, that I was absent.
She was a substitute teacher, so whether I memorized my lesson or not she could have not cared any less, so she looked at me for a second and just dismissed the whole thing.
Now I don't remember what were the other lessons I had that day, but I specifically remember Surat Al-Adiyat. As a child (and a slightly unwell one at that moment!) I thought that I have found the best excuse in the world: "I was absent!".
I guess I really believed that excuse, for till today I have difficulty memorizing Surat Al-Adiyat.
One of the Suwar we had that year was Surat Al-Adiyat (سورة العاديات) . I remember being absent the day we learnt either the first or the second part of that Sura. So upon being asked to recite the previous day's lesson , I looked at my teacher and answered with a very confused tone, that I was absent.
She was a substitute teacher, so whether I memorized my lesson or not she could have not cared any less, so she looked at me for a second and just dismissed the whole thing.
Now I don't remember what were the other lessons I had that day, but I specifically remember Surat Al-Adiyat. As a child (and a slightly unwell one at that moment!) I thought that I have found the best excuse in the world: "I was absent!".
I guess I really believed that excuse, for till today I have difficulty memorizing Surat Al-Adiyat.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Blog Sweet Blog
I consider myself a fairly open minded person, as open minded as my religion would allow me. So I guess that would make me a conservative open minded person! At work, I am labelled as the most conservative person in the entire company (exhibit one). Which I personally don't mind, since many of my colleagues are mun7aleen a5laqeyan anyway (So much for not being judgemental!!)
But yesterday for some weird reason I just couldn't explain what I was going through. I got to know that one of my brother's closest friends is applying to work at the same company. He was applying for a position within a team I work closely with.
I have never seen my brother's friend, I don't even know how he looks like, I never had to deal with him, because that is the way things are in here.
But now, if he got the job, I will have to work with him. He will get to know that I am X's sister. We have to be on friendly terms!!!
Now I have to make this clear, I am not doing anything that would offend my brother in any way. (This is where exhibit one comes in handy) And since I have no skeletons in my closet and since I know that I will always be someone's daughter, someone's sister, and maybe someday someone's wife and someone's mother; this situation should not bother me.
But the truth is, it is.
But yesterday for some weird reason I just couldn't explain what I was going through. I got to know that one of my brother's closest friends is applying to work at the same company. He was applying for a position within a team I work closely with.
I have never seen my brother's friend, I don't even know how he looks like, I never had to deal with him, because that is the way things are in here.
But now, if he got the job, I will have to work with him. He will get to know that I am X's sister. We have to be on friendly terms!!!
Now I have to make this clear, I am not doing anything that would offend my brother in any way. (This is where exhibit one comes in handy) And since I have no skeletons in my closet and since I know that I will always be someone's daughter, someone's sister, and maybe someday someone's wife and someone's mother; this situation should not bother me.
But the truth is, it is.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Some are ... Some aren't
Summer is here again, bringing along with its hot and sticky weather memories of old miserable summers. Summers of Monsoons. Summers of mosquito bites. Summers spent fantasizing about cool European destinations. Summers of failed attempts of getting a golden glow. Summers of broken friendships. And broken hearts. Summers of weddings and all the drama that comes with that.
Yet as always, this summer seems to be the worst of them all.
This would have been fine as it is, if both the people in this scenario were not married! She has been married less than two years ago and he is a father of three.
My friend reassures me that she would never take this any further than where they are right now; regular phone calls and coffee dates once in a while.
What disappointed me the most was the lack of stigma! She hardly showed any signs of remorse. Now I wont pretend that this is the first time I get to hear about a cheating wife as appose to the more common stereotypical cheating husband. But hearing it first hand from someone I know and trust was unsettling.
What justifies infidelity? Why is our culture accepting extra marital affairs? Is a neglecting husband an excuse? Is an unsympathetic wife enough of a reason to get into another relationship?
Later that day, as if on cue, I came across the following:
" Today, the cultural message is that affairs are not so much a matter of character, but more a matter of circumstance. This line of thinking puts the blame squarely on the relationship- and the burden often on the non cheating partner. " - Jillian Straus, Unhooked Generation.
Yet as always, this summer seems to be the worst of them all.
I met a good friend of mine a few days ago who confided in me her horrible story.
A couple of months ago she got in touch with one of her old school friends. It started off as just getting to know each other again. And now it turned into a proper relationship; honey bunny and all!!!
This would have been fine as it is, if both the people in this scenario were not married! She has been married less than two years ago and he is a father of three.
My friend reassures me that she would never take this any further than where they are right now; regular phone calls and coffee dates once in a while.
What disappointed me the most was the lack of stigma! She hardly showed any signs of remorse. Now I wont pretend that this is the first time I get to hear about a cheating wife as appose to the more common stereotypical cheating husband. But hearing it first hand from someone I know and trust was unsettling.
What justifies infidelity? Why is our culture accepting extra marital affairs? Is a neglecting husband an excuse? Is an unsympathetic wife enough of a reason to get into another relationship?
Later that day, as if on cue, I came across the following:
" Today, the cultural message is that affairs are not so much a matter of character, but more a matter of circumstance. This line of thinking puts the blame squarely on the relationship- and the burden often on the non cheating partner. " - Jillian Straus, Unhooked Generation.
This applies to my friend's story. To her, she didn't do anything wrong. It was her husband who drove her to another man's arms (or ears in her case as they mostly talk on the phone)
But does this make infidelity OK? Does this make me judgmental? I wouldn't know. What I know for sure is that I have never been more scared of commitment.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Ewwwwwwwwwww
Worst thing in the world: listening to a girl talking to her guy on the phone and going all whispery!
waja3!
waja3!
Monday, June 04, 2007
Face Off!
The only reason for websites like Facebook to exist is to make people feel sorry about themselves and about the life they are living. There is always someone else who has more friends, who goes to more parties, who went to better schools, who ended up with a better job etc..
Or maybe that is just the way I see things in my own twisted way.
Another reason I hate websites like Facebook is because it revives people back into your life. People from my past should just stay in my past! There is a reason they are not in my life anymore and that's because I dont want them to be!!!
People are screaming out loud for attention, check out my new Beemer, check out this guy am dating, check out my new LV bag, check out my bling.
Life has never been so materialistic or superficial. I have never been more depressed.
Or maybe that is just the way I see things in my own twisted way.
Another reason I hate websites like Facebook is because it revives people back into your life. People from my past should just stay in my past! There is a reason they are not in my life anymore and that's because I dont want them to be!!!
People are screaming out loud for attention, check out my new Beemer, check out this guy am dating, check out my new LV bag, check out my bling.
Life has never been so materialistic or superficial. I have never been more depressed.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
My mun7aref Baby
While driving back home the other day, I hit the pavement and messed up the car's axle or meezaneya as we say it.Apart from the tilted steering wheel el7amdillah nothing happened to the car or anyone inside it.
I didn't really know what happened and I didn't know what to do.
So I park the car in a laybay and call my brothers for help. My brothers being my brothers asked me to ignore the message on my dashboard and drive back carefully.
I was still on the phone when a car stopped by and a guy in a beanie cap asked me whether I was waiting for the dawreyya (police) I said no the beanie guys goes like: " I saw you hit the pavement, you better call the police. It's your cars axle that got hit not the tyre nor the rings. Otherwise this will cost you a fortune"
I thank the Fa3el 5air and call the police.
Here is the weird part: you would think the police would answer in a couple of seconds right? Guess what? They don't!
They answered me about 30 seconds later and enjoyed making fun of me and my driving! But that's a different story all together!
Anyways, Nice Beanie Cap guy if you are reading this: You are genuinely nice: I personally wouldn't do such a thing! Thank You !
I didn't really know what happened and I didn't know what to do.
So I park the car in a laybay and call my brothers for help. My brothers being my brothers asked me to ignore the message on my dashboard and drive back carefully.
I was still on the phone when a car stopped by and a guy in a beanie cap asked me whether I was waiting for the dawreyya (police) I said no the beanie guys goes like: " I saw you hit the pavement, you better call the police. It's your cars axle that got hit not the tyre nor the rings. Otherwise this will cost you a fortune"
I thank the Fa3el 5air and call the police.
Here is the weird part: you would think the police would answer in a couple of seconds right? Guess what? They don't!
They answered me about 30 seconds later and enjoyed making fun of me and my driving! But that's a different story all together!
Anyways, Nice Beanie Cap guy if you are reading this: You are genuinely nice: I personally wouldn't do such a thing! Thank You !
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Illa el Mujahereen!
عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه قال: سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول:
"كل أمتي معافى إلا المجاهرين، وإن من المجاهرة أن يعمل الرجل بالليل عملاً ثم يصبح وقد ستره الله فيقول: يا فلان! عملت البارحة كذا وكذا، وقد بات يستره ربه، ويصبح يكشف ستر الله عليه"
Saturday, March 17, 2007
GoodBye
He was the one who would tell you dirty jokes when he knew he shouldn't have.
He was the one who told you all those funny adventures you wished you could ever have.
And when you were growing older you were embarassed to be seen with him, cause one way or the other he would manage to embarass you.
Today he is gone. And he will be missed.
3ammy, I was never close to you but I always envied my other cousins for knowing you better. I never got to know you and today you leave us to hopefully a better place.
Allah yer7amk ya 3ammy oo ye'3amed roo7ak el janna.
He was the one who told you all those funny adventures you wished you could ever have.
And when you were growing older you were embarassed to be seen with him, cause one way or the other he would manage to embarass you.
Today he is gone. And he will be missed.
3ammy, I was never close to you but I always envied my other cousins for knowing you better. I never got to know you and today you leave us to hopefully a better place.
Allah yer7amk ya 3ammy oo ye'3amed roo7ak el janna.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Mind Games of the Heart
Strike One
She picks up the phone and calls her fiancee and thanks him for the beautiful flowers he sent her that morning. He denies sending her anything. She asks him to stop joking and appreciates his "romantic gesture". He reassures her that he did not send her anything. Sounding confused she tells him that she got flowers and assumed it was him and innocently hangs up.
The things that strikes me as weird in this story is that there were no flowers, the leading actress (as this turned into a story of make believe) made up the whole story to drive her fiancee crazy.
Strike Two
She was walking down the street with her admirer. She knew he had a crush on her. He didn't know she was taken. He looks away for a minute, and there she faints, right into his arms.
Strike Three and She's out!
She picks up the phone and calls her fiancee and thanks him for the beautiful flowers he sent her that morning. He denies sending her anything. She asks him to stop joking and appreciates his "romantic gesture". He reassures her that he did not send her anything. Sounding confused she tells him that she got flowers and assumed it was him and innocently hangs up.
The things that strikes me as weird in this story is that there were no flowers, the leading actress (as this turned into a story of make believe) made up the whole story to drive her fiancee crazy.
Strike Two
She was walking down the street with her admirer. She knew he had a crush on her. He didn't know she was taken. He looks away for a minute, and there she faints, right into his arms.
Strike Three and She's out!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Voodoo
If I never get married, do not assume it is because of any of the following reasons:
- I do not believe in marriage
- I am not really looking
- I do not think anyone is good enough
- Let's see if someone can sweep me off my feet
- I am not sending the right vibes
- I am not exactly the most sociable person
It's because one of our ex servants/maids/domestic help (whichever is more political correct) threatened to do magic on me so I never get married!!
Istaghfer Allah... that is why Education is a blessing.
Friday, March 02, 2007
I blog, therefore I am
Blog sweet Blog!!!
This February turned out to be one of the busiest times of my life... by my life I mean my work. Because lately my life was work and my work was my life.
This is about to change, I hope.
I made a very late new year's resolution; I will not turn into my dad. My dad turned his job into his life and now that he has retired, he just seems lost.
So the first thing I will do about dejobifying my life is to stop blogging about it, right now! lol
ArabLady: Thanks babe for asking about me.
ClayFuture: I wish I was on vacation!
This February turned out to be one of the busiest times of my life... by my life I mean my work. Because lately my life was work and my work was my life.
This is about to change, I hope.
I made a very late new year's resolution; I will not turn into my dad. My dad turned his job into his life and now that he has retired, he just seems lost.
So the first thing I will do about dejobifying my life is to stop blogging about it, right now! lol
ArabLady: Thanks babe for asking about me.
ClayFuture: I wish I was on vacation!
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Cruel Cruel Me
My company had an event at the mall yesterday. Like any other public event, there had to be giveaways.
Freebies come in, my manners go out.
After almost being run over by a crowd of 600 people, I lost my nerves.
I also lost my humanity.
There was a half blind/deaf man in the crowd, he kept on asking me for a goody bag, I had a strict policy, I asked him to wait in the line or hang around till the main attraction was over.
I don't know where the guy went, but he came later on when all the giveaways were over.
And he kept on pointing to his hearing aid. I got so furious at this guy.
How could he use his disability to gain people's sympathy? How could he treat himself this way? I was treating him as an equal , and there he was asking to be treated differently. He wanted me to feel sorry for him, when I was dignifying him !
Yet I feel miserable about the whole situation
Freebies come in, my manners go out.
After almost being run over by a crowd of 600 people, I lost my nerves.
I also lost my humanity.
There was a half blind/deaf man in the crowd, he kept on asking me for a goody bag, I had a strict policy, I asked him to wait in the line or hang around till the main attraction was over.
I don't know where the guy went, but he came later on when all the giveaways were over.
And he kept on pointing to his hearing aid. I got so furious at this guy.
How could he use his disability to gain people's sympathy? How could he treat himself this way? I was treating him as an equal , and there he was asking to be treated differently. He wanted me to feel sorry for him, when I was dignifying him !
Yet I feel miserable about the whole situation
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Your Mailbox is Full
The sticker on the package was kinda funny, especially when you read it in Arabic: Qanooneyan !!!
One thing worth mentioning is that the shipping service at Amazon has never been better! You receive your order within 10 days !!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Just for Kicks
I got tagged by 3anooda.
Although I have been a blogger/ online diary keeper for a few years now, I think I have done this kind of thing only twice before =/
So this would be my attempt at lightening up a little
What will happen to your e-mail when you die?
what happens to emails when people die?
Did you try once to give the password to someone? If yes, what kind of relation that you have with this person to trust him/her and give him/her the key of your secrets?
No
Your famous nickname among your Friends?
Recently Radz started calling me The Sarcastic.
Your age?
Twenty Something
Your horoscope?
Leo. Roar.
Qualifications?
It's a bachelors degree that personally I don't accredit!
Your character "personality"?
Real.
What travel means to you?
Escape.
What do you purchase?
What kind of a question is it?
Features taken from your dad
His frown
Features taken from your mom
Just my face and character!
The most 6 things you hate
Pathetic, Petty, Vain, Self Centered, Hypocrite Snobs
The most 6 things you love
My books,
DVD Collection,
Sense of humour,
Tolerence,
Chocolate,
Good Food
What computer and Internet mean to you
My gateway to the world.
You would like to pass this tag to
I think I will pass on that.
Although I have been a blogger/ online diary keeper for a few years now, I think I have done this kind of thing only twice before =/
So this would be my attempt at lightening up a little
What will happen to your e-mail when you die?
what happens to emails when people die?
Did you try once to give the password to someone? If yes, what kind of relation that you have with this person to trust him/her and give him/her the key of your secrets?
No
Your famous nickname among your Friends?
Recently Radz started calling me The Sarcastic.
Your age?
Twenty Something
Your horoscope?
Leo. Roar.
Qualifications?
It's a bachelors degree that personally I don't accredit!
Your character "personality"?
Real.
What travel means to you?
Escape.
What do you purchase?
What kind of a question is it?
Features taken from your dad
His frown
Features taken from your mom
Just my face and character!
The most 6 things you hate
Pathetic, Petty, Vain, Self Centered, Hypocrite Snobs
The most 6 things you love
My books,
DVD Collection,
Sense of humour,
Tolerence,
Chocolate,
Good Food
What computer and Internet mean to you
My gateway to the world.
You would like to pass this tag to
I think I will pass on that.
Monday, January 29, 2007
عازبون بلا حدود
This post has been lying in my dashboard as a draft for a couple of weeks now.
Finding this blog; got me to finally post it.
Why should I get married?
What is so wrong with just staying single?
I have a good job, I make a decent living, I can even afford luxury once in a while.
I have a family that loves and supports me -well most of the time-
I have friends who support me when my family does not (lol)
I have my share of freedom, I can always get more of it, but I am not complaining.
So why does everyone think that I need a man to complete me?
And what are the chances that the person I will marry would be able to provide me with a better life?
Mystery: Why do people refer to their partners as their better half?
Better half? huh? but wouldn't that mean that my husband would be my better half and I would be his worse half?
Finding this blog; got me to finally post it.
Why should I get married?
What is so wrong with just staying single?
I have a good job, I make a decent living, I can even afford luxury once in a while.
I have a family that loves and supports me -well most of the time-
I have friends who support me when my family does not (lol)
I have my share of freedom, I can always get more of it, but I am not complaining.
So why does everyone think that I need a man to complete me?
And what are the chances that the person I will marry would be able to provide me with a better life?
Mystery: Why do people refer to their partners as their better half?
Better half? huh? but wouldn't that mean that my husband would be my better half and I would be his worse half?
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Only In Abu Dhabi!
This is an ad for Itha3at el Quran (Quran's Radio Station)!!!!!! - I apologize for the terrible image quality -
I was appalled to see this advertisement all over the city.
If we don't respect our religion, how can we expect others to do so?
Friday, January 12, 2007
Roots
I dreamt of my grandmother last night, the one that passed away several years ago.
She was healthier and younger than I ever remember and she was smiling at me.
I hugged her for what seemed like ages and cried .
I miss my grandma.
I miss them both.
I miss having a big family that cares.
What happens to 9elat era7m when the ra7m remains nomore?
She was healthier and younger than I ever remember and she was smiling at me.
I hugged her for what seemed like ages and cried .
I miss my grandma.
I miss them both.
I miss having a big family that cares.
What happens to 9elat era7m when the ra7m remains nomore?
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Sunday, January 07, 2007
What a wonderful world!
"when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true" - Alchemist.
I made up my mind. And this time I will stick to my decison. I know I should have done it a while ago but always something or the other was stopping me. I was distressed and I was expecting the worse to happen. I had a terrible night, but I did sleep, in fact I slept right away, I always sleep. But it was a distressed sleep, I kept on having weird dreams, and I woke up several times during the night shivering.
When I woke up this morning, a weird sensation took over me. I felt like someone else, as if whatever happened last night happened to somebody else. I got dressed to work, and I actually felt good. It has been a while since I actually felt good.
I took the plants I bought yesterday and put them in my car. On my way to work, I listened to the Quran CDs purchased the day before that soothed my mood. And when I got to work, I found several empty parking spaces!
I guess the Universe is conspiring to make things for me!
I made up my mind. And this time I will stick to my decison. I know I should have done it a while ago but always something or the other was stopping me. I was distressed and I was expecting the worse to happen. I had a terrible night, but I did sleep, in fact I slept right away, I always sleep. But it was a distressed sleep, I kept on having weird dreams, and I woke up several times during the night shivering.
When I woke up this morning, a weird sensation took over me. I felt like someone else, as if whatever happened last night happened to somebody else. I got dressed to work, and I actually felt good. It has been a while since I actually felt good.
I took the plants I bought yesterday and put them in my car. On my way to work, I listened to the Quran CDs purchased the day before that soothed my mood. And when I got to work, I found several empty parking spaces!
I guess the Universe is conspiring to make things for me!
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Blame it on my youth
Here is the thing:
I love you but I don't want you: You don't love me yet you want me
There is something extremely disturbing in this situation
How else do I feel? In the words of Jamie Cullum:
I love you but I don't want you: You don't love me yet you want me
There is something extremely disturbing in this situation
How else do I feel? In the words of Jamie Cullum:
If I cried a little bit, when first I learned the truth
Don’t blame it on my heart, blame it on my youth
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Strings
Kahani mohabbat ki hai mukhtesar
Gaya dil se phir woh na aaya idher
Yet another song stuck in my head!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
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